Helping Children of Adults with Alcohol Use Disorder

Among the 48.5 million people aged 12 years and older living with a substance use disorder in the United States, many are parents.¹ Researchers estimate that approximately 19 million children under the age of 18 are currently growing up in a home with at least one parent struggling with a substance use disorder (SUD).² Unfortunately, a parent’s addiction can have profound, lasting effects on children. 

This page will focus on how a parent’s alcohol use disorder (AUD) can impact a child, influence potential mental and behavioral health disorders, and provide information on what supportive resources may be available.

What Is Alcoholism?

Known clinically as alcohol use disorder (AUD), alcohol addiction is a medical condition that causes impaired ability to control the use of alcohol despite adverse consequences to social, occupational, or health functioning.³ AUD is considered a chronic, relapsing disorder of the brain that can range in severity between mild, moderate, or severe.³

The specific markers of AUD are outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), a resource used by healthcare professionals to properly diagnose alcohol use disorder in adults. This criteria includes the following:⁴

• Drinking for longer periods of time or in greater amounts that originally intended
• Making several attempts to cut down or stop drinking, but being unable to do so
• Spending a lot of time drinking or recovering from drinking
• Experiencing cravings to drink
• Neglecting responsibilities at school, work, and/or home due to alcohol consumption
• No longer participating in previously enjoyed activities due to alcohol consumption 
• Drinking in situations where it is physically hazardous to do so
• Continuing to consume alcohol despite the knowledge that doing so causes or exacerbates a physical or psychological health problem
• Continuing to consume alcohol despite it causing persistent or recurring social or interpersonal problems
• Tolerance, or needing to consume more alcohol in order to achieve the desired effects
• Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when unable to consume alcohol 

Is Alcoholism Genetic?

Research shows that alcohol use disorder can be caused by genetics.⁵ And while children of parents with AUD are roughly 4 times more likely to struggle with alcohol addiction themselves, it does not guarantee that it will occur.⁶ Alcohol use disorder is not caused by one specific gene; instead, variants across many different genes can increase the risk of developing the disorder at some point.^7,8 These genes, combined with physiological, environmental, psychological and social factors, can all play a role in how a person interacts with alcohol.

It is important to keep in mind that just as there are risk factors for developing alcohol use disorder, there also exist protective factors, such as positive social involvement and recognition for good behavior, that can aid in keeping children from experiencing a similar outcome as their parent.⁹

How to Explain Alcoholism to a Child

Talking about a topic as complex as alcohol addiction with children is no easy feat. However, it is imperative that children are not left in the dark while a parent struggles with this condition. One simple but powerful way to discuss alcohol addiction with children is to use the 7 Cs:¹⁰

1. You didn’t cause the problem.
2. You can’t control it.
3. You can’t cure it.
4. You can help take care of yourself.
5. You can communicate your feelings.
6. You can make healthy choices.
7. You can celebrate yourself.

It is important to use age-appropriate information when speaking with children about addiction.¹¹ For younger children, keeping it simple is important so they do not become confused and can learn about addiction.¹¹ When speaking to teens, using appropriate and accurate terminology can help them to understand, and discussing their risks can empower them to become resilient against developing addiction themselves.¹¹ For children of any age, explain that they are not responsible for their loved one’s addiction and that people can and do recover.¹¹

How Does Alcoholism in a Parent Affect a Child?

Alcohol addiction in a parent can have a big impact on a child. Children living in homes where substance use disorder is present are more likely to:^12,13

• Be physically, emotionally, or sexually abused.
• Develop an addiction.
• Develop an attachment disorder.
• Experience difficulty establishing trusting relationships with others.
• Feel overly responsible for others’ emotions.
• Take on adult roles earlier than is developmentally appropriate.

Heavy alcohol use during pregnancy can cause serious consequences for children, too. Of first-graders, 1-5% are likely to have a fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD), a range of impairments to physical, behavioral, and cognitive abilities due to exposure to alcohol in the womb.¹⁴ Every day in the US, approximately 80 babies are diagnosed with neonatal abstinence syndrome (NAS), which causes withdrawal symptoms in infants due to exposure to substances like alcohol in utero.¹⁵

Children of a parent with an alcohol use disorder are also at an increased risk for a variety of problems later in life, too.^16,17 In addition to an increased hereditary risk of developing alcoholism, children of alcoholics may be more likely to experience mental health disorders like anxiety or depression, sexual and physical violence, and develop other substance use disorders that non-children of alcoholics.^16,17,18,19

Common Characteristics of Children of Alcoholics

Children, as well as teens and young adults, of parents who have alcohol addiction may develop certain characteristics or behaviors as a result. Some characteristics common of children of parents with alcohol addiction include:²⁰

• Conflicting emotions such as guilt, anxiety, embarrassment, confusion, anger, and depression.
• Difficulty forming and maintaining close relationships.
• Withdrawal from peers.
• Lack of friendships.
• Physical complaints, such as headaches or stomach aches.
• Difficulty in school.
• Misuse of drugs and/or alcohol.
• Aggressive behaviors.
• Excessive risk-taking.
• Suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

Risk Factors for Children of Parents with AUD

In addition to the genetic risks, children may be influenced by early exposure to alcohol (as is the case with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome), parental temperament, poor parental monitoring, parental attitudes toward substance use, and the disruption of parent-child attachment due to alcohol use.^21,22

Additional risk factors that can influence children to use substances include:²²

• Lack of social connectedness.
• Difficulty with academics.
• Experience of abuse, including childhood sexual abuse.
• Family rejection of sexual orientation.
• Poor mental health.

Support for Children of Alcoholics

There are ways children of parents with alcohol addiction can get support and access to helpful resources. Some beneficial interventions include:

• Family therapy.
• Individual counseling.
• Group therapy.
• Play therapy.
• Support groups such as Alateen.

Alateen is a group where teenagers can join together to share their experiences, gain strength and hope through the support of others, and learn coping skills to improve resilience.²³ The group provides a safe place for teens to discuss their difficulties and exchange encouragement with others who understand what they are going through.²³ Alateen helps teens understand the principles of the Alcoholics Anonymous program by guiding them through the use of the 12 Steps as well as a unique set of Alateen’s 12 Traditions.²³