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How to Help Your Husband or Partner With Alcohol Addiction

If you are concerned your husband or spouse is addicted to alcohol, know that you are not alone. This page will provide you with more information about this topic, including how you can help your husband who drinks too much, recognize signs of alcohol addiction, what types of treatment programs are available, and more.

How to Help Your Husband or Spouse with Alcohol Addiction

Making efforts to help your husband address his alcohol addiction can often feel like you are taking one step forward, only to then take two steps back. This is especially true if you aren’t feeling confident in how to effect change. However, you are not alone in feeling unsure of what to do. Addiction is a complex disease that requires the expertise of qualified professionals to treat, and your role isn’t to “fix” it, rather support your husband in a way that empowers him to obtain professional care. You can do this in a variety of different ways, including the following:

  • Educate yourself about addiction. Spend some time learning about addiction as a disease, how it affects a person both physical and mentally, why they may be engaging in questionable activities, and more. The more you are able to look at your husband as someone who needs help rather than as an enemy, the more you will be able focus on supporting him.
  • Talk openly about your concerns. Do not keep your feelings to yourself. Share them with your husband in a respectful, non-judgmental tone and continually remind him that you can offer help and support.
  • Do the leg work. Reach out to rehab centers in your area to find out what types of programming options they offer, if they are at capacity or not, etc. You can also call your insurance company and ask for all the details on your specific plan to see what type of coverage you may have for treatment. They can also help you find in-network addiction treatment providers. By doing this, you are prepared, have taken this burden off your husband, and ready to take action.
  • Set boundaries. You can help your husband while still setting appropriate boundaries. These boundaries may include rules such as no alcohol in the house or no driving with the kids in the car, or more personal ones such as dedicating only a certain amount of time to his needs in order to preserve your wellbeing.
  • Get support. Reach out to a friend or family member and share what your experiences are. You can also attend local support group meetings, where you can talk about your feelings and receive positive feedback from others who are going through similar situations.

If you’re asking yourself “is my husband an alcoholic” due to their excessive alcohol consumption, it may be time to seek professional help. Our admissions navigators are available to speak with you about treatment options 24/7. Call our hotline at to start your journey toward recovery today.

Does My Husband Drink Too Much?

If your husband can no longer control their use of alcohol, experiences emotional distress when he is not drinking, and/or compulsively misuses it despite negative ramifications, he may be suffering from an alcohol use disorder.1 However, only a doctor or other licensed addiction treatment professional can diagnose someone with AUD. AUD is diagnosed based on an individual meeting certain criteria outlined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Therefore, while you may be able to get an idea of if your husband is addicted to alcohol or not, you should always consult with a professional to receive the proper diagnosis.

Signs Your Husband May Struggle With Alcohol Addiction

To be diagnosed with AUD, individuals must meet any two of the below criteria from the DSM-5 within the same 12-month period:2

  • Being unable to cut down on alcohol use despite a desire to do so.
  • Using alcohol in higher amounts or for a longer time than originally intended.
  • Spending a lot of time obtaining, using, and recovering from the effects of alcohol.
  • Cravings, or a strong desire to use alcohol.
  • Developing tolerance (i.e. needing to drink increasingly large or more frequent amounts of alcohol to achieve desired effect).
  • Using alcohol in physically dangerous situations (such as driving or operating machinery).
  • Being unable to fulfill major obligations at home, work, or school because of alcohol use.
  • Continuing to abuse alcohol despite negative interpersonal or social problems that are likely due to alcohol use.
  • Giving up previously enjoyed social, occupational, or recreational activities because of alcohol use.
  • Continuing to abuse alcohol despite the presence of a psychological or physical problem that is probably due to alcohol use.
  • Developing symptoms of withdrawal when efforts are made to stop using alcohol.

Impacts of Alcohol on a Marriage

The presence of alcohol misuse or addiction in a marriage can lead to the onset of many negative repercussions between spouses, specifically lower levels of marital satisfaction, increased risk of marital violence, and negative familial interactions.3 If a spouse’s problematic drinking continues without interference, further issues can develop within a marriage, including:

  • Poor communication
  • Lack of intimacy and/or emotional connection
  • Financial and/or legal troubles
  • Infidelity or other distrustful behavior
  • Creating a toxic living environment

The impacts of alcohol can go far beyond just one’s marriage, as it can also begin to impact other members of the extended family, such as in-laws, siblings, cousins, grandparents, etc. It may become problematic to the point where relationships become challenging, if not irretrievably broken.

Should I Divorce Someone Who is an Alcoholic?

Being married to someone who is addicted to alcohol is not easy, and it often takes a great deal of patience, persistence, and love to get through it. It can be nearly impossible to not consider how this situation may end and whether or not your marriage will survive it. But, divorce is a highly personal choice, and one that should be made carefully and with a clear head.

However, if at any point you do not feel safe around your husband, or your are concerned for your wellbeing or that of your children (if any), it is imperative to remove yourself from that situation and to a safe space. This may be a friend or a parent’s house, a hotel, etc. Your safety is of the utmost importance regardless of anything else that is occurring. Once you feel secure, you can begin planning your next steps and consider if divorce is something that is necessary for your situation.

How to Talk to Your Husband About His Alcohol Use

Committing to getting sober and seeking treatment for alcoholism takes courage. Yet, often times, those struggling with alcohol may not immediately be receptive to discussing treatment or admitting that they have a problem. If your husband isn’t yet ready to seek treatment, don’t be confrontational. The types of “interventions” that you see on TV are rarely effective.4 They can even backfire and lead to anger or refusal to get treatment.4 Instead, try to imagine how you would like to be talked to if you were in your spouse’s shoes. Focus on getting them to at least talk to a doctor if they won’t talk to you.

Don’t blame your loved one for the problem. Remember that they have a disease that’s as real as any other chronic disease. So just as with other disease, they need treatment to get better.

Here are some additional ways relating to how to talk to your husband about his drinking:

  1. Only talk to him when he is sober and receptive to hearing what you have to say. Sometimes, it may take several small, honest, and simple conversations to get your point across.
  2. Educate yourself on the disease and treatment options that exist near you.
  3. Consider seeking out support for yourself via a therapist or support group, such as Al-Anon, a self-help program for family members of substance abusers.
  4. If at any time you feel unsafe physically or emotionally in your home when your husband is under influence of alcohol, seek immediate professional help. Do not try to diffuse the situation by yourself.
  5. Try not to take his drinking personally.
  6. Keep up with the family schedule regardless to keep a sense of normalcy and balance at home.

Support For Partners of Alcoholics

As previously mentioned, seeking support from others in a situation such as this can be extremely beneficial. One of the most notable nationwide support groups is Al-Anon.

Al-Anon is like AA, but for the loved ones of the person experiencing the alcohol addiction. You can attend meetings, get a sponsor, and make friends with others who know what you are going through. You can also expand your knowledge about alcohol addiction and even develop new ways to help encourage your husband to accept help. Most of all, Al-Anon can serve as a safe space for you to talk about your feelings surrounding your husband’s addiction.

Types of Alcohol Addiction Treatment Programs

Once your husband has agreed to treatment, the real work begins. Depending on his needs, he may participate in one or more of the following types of AUD treatment options:4,5

  • Detox is often the first step in the rehab process. Detox helps your loved one through withdrawal and become medically stable so they can enter treatment.
  • Outpatient rehab, where your loved one lives at home but travels to a treatment center on a regular basis.
  • Inpatient rehab, where they live at a residential treatment center and get round-the-clock monitoring, care, and support.
  • Behavioral therapy, which is a broad category that can include methods such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or contingency management (CM). CBT helps people identify unhelpful thoughts and increase positive, healthy behavior. CM uses positive reinforcement to help people stay away from drugs and alcohol.
  • 12-step groups or other types of mutual support groups, which help people in recovery through the support of others who have been in the same situation.

Recovery is a lifelong process that doesn’t end once treatment is completed. But with the right treatment, a solid support network, and aftercare services, you and your husband can go on to live healthier, more fruitful lives.

Get Help for Your Husband or Partner Today

If you are finding yourself overwhelmed with your husbands problematic drinking, know that we are here to help. Call us 24/7 at to discuss treatment options with one of our kind, compassionate admissions navigators. They can provide you with some answers while also guiding you towards the help your husband needs.

We understand that many are affected by one person’s alcoholism and we’re here to help. Call us right now to learn more about what to expect in treatment, using health insurance to pay for rehab, and more.

Reach out right now – you’re not alone. The form below can instantly help you check if your health insurance provider offers coverage for rehab and associated therapies to support your husband in overcoming alcohol addiction.

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