How to Help Your Parent With Alcohol Addiction

If you’re concerned that your parent is addicted to alcohol, you are probably feeling overwhelmed, along with a mix of several other emotions. Chances are you want to help, but you might not know what to do. Keep reading to learn more about the signs your parent is addicted to drinking, how to help alcoholic parent, and how you can find effective treatment today.

Is My Mom or Dad Addicted to Alcohol?

You may have noticed that something isn’t quite right when someone you care about, including a parent, drinks too much. You should pay attention to your gut feelings, because they’re not there for nothing. It can be stressful, however, your parent may be struggling with an alcohol use disorder (the clinical term for alcohol addiction) or problematic drinking.

 First and foremost, it’s crucial to understand that you did not cause your parent’s drinking problem, and it is also not your responsibility to fix it.¹ However, it is natural to want to help. There are steps you can take to support yourself, such as talking to a trusted and safe adult, like a relative or family friend, about your concerns, or going to Alateen meetings, which are specifically designed for teens with family members who drink too much.¹

Signs Your Parent May Be Drinking Too Much

The American Psychiatric Association provides the diagnostic criteria for AUD. For a person to receive an AUD diagnosis, they need to meet at least 2 of the following criteria within a 12- month period.² 

Some signs your mom or dad may be addicted to alcohol can include:

• Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended
• There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use
• A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from its effects
• Craving, or a strong desire or urge to use alcohol
• Recurrent alcohol use failing to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home
• Continued alcohol use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of alcohol
• Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of alcohol use
• Recurrent alcohol use in situations in which it is physically hazardous
• Alcohol use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by alcohol
• Tolerance
• Withdrawal

Only a qualified professional can diagnose someone with AUD, but being aware of the signs of alcohol use disorder may help you understand when it’s time for your parent to seek professional help. 

If your parent is displaying any of these signs or behaviors, it can be helpful to seek help from a professional, or reach out to a trusted adult if you are a minor.

How to Help Your Parent With Alcohol Addiction

It is completely understandable and normal to want to know how to help parent who drinks too much. If you’re thinking about having a conversation with your parent about your concerns, there are a few considerations to keep in mind.³

1. Learn about AUD. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) has excellent resources where family members can learn more about the effects of alcohol on a person’s brain, which can help you understand that your parent’s addiction is not a choice and it’s also not about you. You can also see our guides on the health effects of alcohol and mixing alcohol with other substances.
2. Think about what you want to say in advance. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you get some pent up emotions out in a healthy way as opposed to taking it out on your parent. Doing this also allows you to organize your ideas so you are prepared before you have the actual conversation.
3. Pick the right time to have the conversation. It’s ideal if both you and your parent are calm and undistracted by external factors, so choose a quiet time to have this conversation. You don’t want to confront them as soon as they come home from work, when they are intoxicated, or when they are engaged in other activities.

Tips for Talking to Your Parent About Their Drinking

Helping your parent with alcohol addiction isn’t easy, so it’s important to be kind to yourself and take things at your own pace. When you’re ready to have the conversation, you may wish to consider the following:⁴

1. Remember to talk to your parent when they’re sober.
2. Stay calm and focused on your feelings and observations. It’s best to stick with “I” statements, such as “I’ve noticed that you’re drinking more than usual,” rather than attacking or stigmatizing statements like “you’re an alcoholic,” or “you drink too much,” which can make them defensive.
3. Use a nonjudgmental and supportive tone. Let them know that you love them and are concerned for their health and wellbeing.
4. Offer your help. You could suggest that you both research treatment centers online, or even consider visiting some rehabs together.
5. Ask if they might consider going to a self-help group, like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). They don’t have to commit to go for life—even just going to one meeting can be an important first step toward recovery.
6. Take care of your needs. It is not easy to cope when a parent has an alcohol problem, so make sure you have your own source of support and maybe think about going to Al-anon or Alateen meetings.

If you’re a minor, it’s important to seek help from adults. It can be helpful to ask a trusted friend or family member to join in the conversation as a source of guidance and support.

Support for Families of Alcoholics

As mentioned above, it’s crucial to have support when you’re dealing with a parent who may have a drinking problem or AUD.1 Self-help groups like Al-anon and Alateen (for those aged 13-18) can be excellent sources of information and support.¹ If your parent enters treatment, you’ll also likely have access to treatment staff and possibly even have the chance to participate in family or individual counseling, where you can share your feelings and receive additional support.¹ 

If you are worried about another loved one who may be struggling, we have resources where you can learn more about:

• Helping your friend with alcohol addiction.
• Helping your husband with alcohol addiction.
• Helping your partner with alcohol addiction.
• Helping your sister with alcohol addiction.
• Helping your teenager with alcohol addiction.
• Helping your wife with alcohol addiction.
• Helping a family member with alcohol addiction.
• Helping your child with alcohol addiction.
• Helping your brother with alcohol addiction.
• Helping your boyfriend with alcohol addiction.
• Helping your girlfriend with alcohol addiction.
• Helping your husband with alcohol addiction.

How to Help My Mom or Dad Find Alcohol Addiction Treatment

People can begin their treatment at different levels of programming, as this typically depends on their unique needs and personal situation. These  programming options include:¹

• Medical detox, which helps people safely undergo alcohol withdrawal with medical support, supervision, and, in many cases, medications for AUD.
• Inpatient drug and alcohol rehab, where your parent will live onsite at a treatment center and receive 24/7 care and attention. 
• Outpatient addiction treatment programs, where your parent can continue to live at home but will need to attend treatment on a regular schedule at a rehab. 
• Treatment for co-occurring disorders, which helps people who have an addiction alongside another mental health condition, such as depression or anxiety.

Get Help for Your Parent Today

If your parent is struggling, you do not and should not have to handle everything on your own. We are here to help you 24/7. Please call to connect with a caring admissions navigator, who can explain more about AUD, guide you through the treatment and admissions process, and help you understand health insurance coverage for rehab. All calls are free and confidential, and there is no obligation to enter treatment.